When the Role Becomes the Mask
Leadership comes with titles, responsibilities, and expectations, but for many high performers, something else happens too, quietly, over time: They start to lose themselves.
They become so focused on delivering results, meeting standards, and “being a leader” that their authentic self slowly gets edited out. The mask hardens, the pressure grows, and one day the role they play feels more familiar than the person they are.
This isn’t just considered as ‘burnout’, it’s the erosion of their identity. And it’s one of the most unspoken crises in leadership today. But here’s the truth: you can’t lead others well if you’re disconnected from yourself.
1. The Identity Shift Is Real and Measurable
Leadership roles change how people behave and how they see themselves. In one study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, researchers found that individuals in high-status leadership roles often suppress their emotions and self-expression in order to fit perceived norms. Over time, this leads to emotional dissonance, decreased job satisfaction, and a weakened sense of identity.
In simpler terms: when leaders feel like they can’t be themselves, they don’t just perform worse, they lose sight of who they are.
This disconnection becomes especially dangerous in high-pressure environments, where performance is prioritised over presence. The more successful someone becomes, the more likely they are to wear the mask, and the harder it becomes to take it off.
2. When You’re Always “On,” You Forget Who You Are Off
Many leaders describe feeling like they’re constantly performing. Managing perception, delivering confidence, staying strong for others, but very few are taught how to reconnect to themselves when the cameras are off, the meetings end, and the adrenaline fades.
In a 2022 survey by Deloitte, 60% of senior executives said they felt they couldn’t be fully authentic at work, despite preaching authenticity to their teams. That disconnect isn’t just ironic. It’s costly.
Without moments to reflect, restore, or recalibrate, leaders lose internal clarity. And when that happens, they become reactive instead of responsive – leading from pressure instead of purpose.
3. Real Leadership Starts With Real Self-Awareness
You can’t lead others effectively if you haven’t checked in with yourself.
High-impact leaders invest in self-awareness not as a luxury, but as a leadership tool. They journal. They seek coaching. They ask hard questions like:
- What’s actually driving my decisions right now?
- Am I leading from alignment or obligation?
- Who am I when I’m not producing?
According to research from Tasha Eurich, organisational psychologist and author of Insight, leaders who demonstrate high internal self-awareness are better performers, make sounder decisions, and are more effective communicators. And yet, only 10–15% of people are truly self-aware.
That gap isn’t inevitable. It’s addressable, with intention.
4. Leading Without the Mask Isn’t Weakness—It’s Strength
There’s a myth that showing who you are makes you vulnerable in the wrong way. But the data and lived experience say otherwise.
In a 2021 study in Harvard Business Review, employees who described their leaders as “genuine and self-aware” also reported higher trust, loyalty, and resilience during change. Authenticity doesn’t diminish authority. It enhances it.
When leaders speak honestly about challenges, admit mistakes, and show up with humanity and not just performance, they unlock real followership.
People don’t want perfect, they want real, and so do leaders themselves.
💬 Final Thought: You’re More Than the Role
Leadership is a privilege. But it’s not your personality.
The best leaders don’t sacrifice themselves to become someone they think the role requires. They bring their whole selves to the work and build cultures that allow others to do the same.
So if the mask is feeling heavy… it’s time to check in. Reconnect with your values. Revisit what makes you feel most you.
Because the more you lead from that place, the more sustainable, trusted, and fulfilled your leadership becomes.